North Dakota Debate Coverage
October 19, 2010 at 12:00 am Leave a comment

Governor John Hoeven and State Senator Tracy Potter engage at debate at the newly renovated Best Western Convention Center
Claey Ducken, special reporter for Theodore Adonis.com
Fargo ND – The two US Senate candidates in North Dakota recently got together at the Best Western Hotel and Convention Center and discussed topics including taxes, health care, and the federal stimulus plan during a recent debate. There was an unusually cordial tone between the two contestants early on, until a surprise fourteen-minute power failure, interrupted the proceedings. Upon the return of electricity, the tone darkened becoming more vitriolic filled with hateful rage that is common place for modern elections. It was clear. Here is a transcript of the early debate.
Moderator Charley Johnson – This question is to you State Senator Potter: Should the healthcare bill be repealed?
Democratic State Sen. Tracy Potter – I agree with my opponent that the health care bill isn’t a perfect plan. I understand how voters out there, and even the casual observer, can say if I’m healthy – why do I need insurance or what does this do to actually contain costs. There are no guarantees in the bill. Still I believe it should stay in place, it’s a step in the right direction and it will help individuals with pre-existing conditions to apply for medical cost protection.
Moderator – Governor – your response?
Republican Gov. John Hoeven – I respect my opponent’s viewpoint on healthcare and so I won’t come out here and say “we should repeal the bill.” What we need is more choice for patients and tort reforms to further lower costs. The country shouldn’t repeal anything until more thought is made in reviewing and improving the health care system. All options: both mine and the opposition’s should be weighed and considered. And therefore I plan to work with both sides in moderation to find what’s best for our country.
Moderator – State Senator, your response?
DEM. Candidate – My republican opponent says he will work with both sides, but as a state senator these past three years, I’ve worked more with Republicans and Independents. I agree that health care choice is key. A national market for all plans would (lights go out)…
Moderator – It appears we have a power failure. We’ll be right back.
During the break, both candidates, the candidates’ campaign directors and the moderator huddled together to discuss how to continue the debate. As I was there not as press, but undercover as a member of the all-Hispanic cleaning crew, I overheard up what I cannot even de put into words. This is what I heard.
Moderator – What the hell was that? It was unbearable? I had them pull the plug on the electricity.
DEM. Candidate – What? You can’t do that!
Moderator - I can. You both are so agreeable. It’s like you’re involved in a congeniality contests. Do you understand what you’re supposed to be doing out there? We’ve got a voting system and you two are ruining it. John, I can’t believe you. You’re a seasoned veteran goddamn it.
REP. Candidate – I thought this time it could be different.
Moderator – The system is. In 2006, we had over 600,000 people living in North Dakota, 495,000 eligible voters and only 220,000 actually showed up to vote, that’s around 30%, and Kent Conrad picked up 150,000 votes. 25% of the people voted the representative for the state. Do you think it’s really apathy keeping voters away? No, they’re disgusted.
REP. Campaign Director – John, you’re supposed to rally your base, turn off his and get the independents, the ones who change their mind, to get so disgusted they don’t turn out. The average Joe is supposed to look at you and say, “dirty politicians.”
DEM. Campaign Director – You stand at losing a lot of money and kickbacks if you don’t start pulling punches. Didn’t you even look at the prep tapes from California? Jerry Brown is calling Meg a whore and Meg Whitman is calling Jerry senile. Issues? They’re not discussing issues, it’s about her undocumented housekeeper and groundskeeper.
Moderator – That’s what people tune in for and others tune out for. It’s a game. Do you guys understand?
DEM. Candidate – But I like John and think he’s been basically a good governor.
REP. Candidate – And I like you Tracey and think a more appropriate debate, one that isn’t only looking for one-liners for the six o’clock news, will actually engage the voters to become involved.
Moderator – It doesn’t matter who you like or what you want. You guys are puppets and the puppet-masters want to see blood and gore. And speaking about Gore, have either of you molested a masseuse while getting a massage.
REP. Candidate – Only a stripper.
DEM. Candidate – Only my housekeeper.
Moderator – Ok. I guess that won’t work. I’m looking for something to give this debate some pizzazz. OK… I’ll get the power working, you guys start beating each other with dead cats.
DEM. Campaign Director – How about their guy calling ours a socialist and we’ll respond how you’re in it for the rich and big business?
Moderator – Hmm? That could work. It’s an oldie but goody. No matter what – you guys can’t agree. You can’t be cordial. Otherwise, it’s going to spread and the choke-hold we’ve had on the political system since the 1990s will be over and people will expect competent candidates who can compromise with people of differing views and, actually, solve the problems we all face together.
The power returns:
Moderator – Before we got interrupted by some electrical difficulties, we were discussing Health Care. In order to be fair, we will have one rebuttal each beginning with our Governor: Mr. Governor,
REP. Candidate – This issue shows one major difference between us. In the late 1970s, as deputy insurance commissioner, my opponent supported importing Canada’s single payer system. We don’t want socialism here and we don’t want to elect a SOCIALIST who will go to Washington and rubber-stamp the policies of our socialist president.
DEM. Candidate – My opponent would like you to believe that our president was also born on foreign soil. I won’t even justify anything he says. But rest assured if my opponent is elected US Senator, he will repeal health care and replace it with tax credits that only bring any real benefits to the extremely wealthy. He’ll allow Wall Street to purchase our local hospitals and medical plans, have it traded on the Market and privatize Medicare – leaving everyone listening tonight, except for the wealthy domestic and FOREIGN campaign donors, starving and in the cold.
REP. Candidate – Your program takes billions out of Medicare.
DEM. Candidate – My profession is Historian and the one listed in History books for my opponent is “whore to the wealthy.”
Both sides actually insisted that nothing was ever said during the impromptu intermission except for logistical issues including the topic of cancelling or postponing the debate procedure, as well as a discussion with the local NPR radio affiliate, Prairie Public Radio, who was broadcasting to the hundreds of people listening on their radios, about going over the original allotted time.
thanks for reading this obvious piece of fiction
Entry filed under: Fake News, Fictional Characters. Tags: Big Business, Candidate Debate, Candidates, Democrat, Health Care, Middle Class, North Dakota, Obama Care, Republican, Senate Elections, Tax Cuts, voter apathy, voter turnout.
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